A little "Calm" in our lives
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works and we could all use a little more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off 23 Miller Lites, a bottle of Absolut, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace....
Sharing...
Even though it may hurt my own chances of winning, I'm gonna share this rare contest opportunity with the rest of you... trusting that, should you wind up winning, instead of me, you'll take me along. It'd only be fair, right? (You can thank me later... as I will, you.)
"The Hunt"
Yesterday's hunt for a new microwave oven, to replace the one that finally crapped out on us, went off pretty well, I would say, as we did wind up finding one, in a relatively brief span of time.
We drove over to Circuit City; they no longer carry any appliances at all. Next, it was on to Best Buy; all they had were several different models that are designed to fit above ranges or regular stoves & ovens. Then, we went to the nearby Home Depot; mostly like the ones at Best Buy, but they had two really small countertop models they seemed to be clearing out.
Our next try was at an area Meijer's, where I went to look, while my wife picked up some milk, bread, eggs and whatever; I never did find any in there. But my wife said she saw a couple of them and that they were too small.
Lastly, we stopped at our old K-Mart, which is now a Sears' store; I almost never go in there, because I absolutely hate Sears, having had problems with their stores, over the years.
On this occasion, however, I have to say that they did not let me down. They had about a dozen different countertop models to look at, and we found one that fit the bill, quite nicely. It is 1.6 cubic feet inside, which is almost exactly the same size as our defunct pal and, instead of it costing $129.99 (which I consider very reasonable), the only one in a box had been previously opened, so it was marked down to $90.93! For that price, how could we go wrong? It's a Kenmore and has a year warranty, so I figured, what the hell could we lose?
Our old guy was a Goldstar, from K-Mart, and we'd gotten that one back in 1989, after our first microwave went kaplooey. We'd only had that first one since around February, 1981 when my not-much-of-a-real-father died. My brother and I had him cremated and with a little bit of the few bucks he left behind, we bought our first microwave ovens, one for each of us, plus one for my mom; it may seem rather bizarre to some people, but it, somehow, felt appropriate. ;-) He'd never done anything for us, in life. But, every time I cooked something in that old oven, I thought of him.... I think there's some kind of lesson here: be careful how you treat people; some have long memories.
Once we got the new one plugged in, and set the clock, we tried it out on a simple meal for my supper: frozen pancakes. They came out just fine and, since we rarely try anything complicated, I think we'll get by, just fine.
Next up, I've gotta call around, some more, and see if I can take the old guy into an appliance shop and see if it's worth getting repaired; somehow, I kinda doubt it will be.
At the same time, I've noticed that the door gasket inside the refrigerator seems to no longer be doing its job, as there are moisture beads appearing inside the door. I've got an appliance repair policy that covers our large appliances, so that should be taken care of, without additional cost. I gotta give those folks a call....
Home Depot Dummy
And, since I mentioned "Home Depot"
My Friends, I give you "THE DUMBEST GUY ON EARTH!"
This picture is real - not doctored in any way - and was taken by a Transportation Supervisor for a company that delivers building materials for 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he went to buy a camera to take pictures.
The car is still running, as can be witnessed by the exhaust.
The driver finally came back after the police were called, and was found crouched behind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around the load! Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed .
The materials were loaded at Home Depot. Their store manager said they had made the customer sign a waiver.
While the plywood and 2X4's are fairly obvious, what you can't see is the back seat, which contains (are you ready for this?) 10 bags of concrete @ 80 lbs. each!
They estimated the load weight at 3000 lbs. Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent and the rear shocks were driven through the floorboard.
And these people VOTE!
(Thanks, Angel...)
THE HORMONE HOSTAGE
THE HORMONE HOSTAGE KNOWS THAT THERE ARE DAYS IN THE MONTH WHEN ALL A MAN HAS TO DO IS OPEN HIS MOUTH & HE TAKES HIS LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS! THIS IS A HANDY GUIDE THAT SHOULD BE AS COMMON AS A DRIVER'S LICENSE IN THE WALLET OF EVERY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, CO-WORKER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!
13 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:
1. PASS MY SHOTGUN
2. PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING
3. PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE
4. PUFFY MID-SECTION
5. PEOPLE MAKE me SICK
6. PROVIDE ME with SWEETS
7. PARDON MY SOBBING
8. PIMPLES MAY SURFACE
9. PASS MY SWEATS
10. PISSY MOOD SYNDROME
11. POOR MEN SUCK
12. PACK MY STUFF
and MY FAVORITE ONE
13. POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT
PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR HORMONAL FRIENDS & THOSE WHO MIGHT NEED A GOOD LAUGH!!
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